*Rummaging through Lestat’s office, trying to find a notepad in the desk as his laptop flashes on, inviting me to commit my thoughts to its electronic memory. My fingers tapping at the keys before my body settles into his huge leather chair*

Journal

August 22, 2011

0423

Paris, France

Vampires, the older they are the more knowledge they hold and none is as old as Khayman, Maharet or her twin Mekare. I tend to forget that sometimes since they are all younger than me by quite a few millennia. Still, I like them all since they can understand me more than the others; possibly, more than Lestat at times. 

 *Taps finger on desk, deciding how much to write here for him to find. Smiles and continues typing*

Last night I strolled the Coven’s gardens with Maharet as I quenched her curiosity of just what I am and probably my intentions with her brethren.  Have I already said that I like her? Well I do, she exudes this peaceful quality about her that hides just how powerful she truly is.  An ancient elder that is what she is, one that has managed to keep track of her mortal family line through the many years of her existence.  I think this is what has helped her maintain the sanity that most vampires her age fail to keep as the ticks of time pass over them.

She wanted to know what I am and as much as I wanted to explain it all without sharing my blood or *fangy grin* me taking her aged powerful blood, I did not.  I can only imagine the things she has seen and experienced after so many years on this earth but the complete truth of my kind would be too much for her human soul to comprehend.

*Shakes head* Anyway, she wanted to know about me, about my kind and about my “gifts or powers.”   I tried to explain to her what I am and a bit of what I can do but, she will never know as much as Lestat; he shares my dreams, my blood and my wolf.  But she & her twin do know firsthand about spirits, evil or otherwise. She knows they can possess humans but are nothing more than an invisible mist craving for human attention.  She knows the envy they hold for human flesh and how those such as Amel, the one responsible for the creation of her kind, craved not only flesh but blood; finally finding a host and breeding forth a new demonic race; the vampires. Still this is not what I am and now she knows it more than ever. *Devious grin*

I am not spirit, human or made…, I was born. She now knows that unlike those who claim to be demons *rolls eyes while typing* those naughty little puffs of spirit who take over a host, unlike them, I am a true demon. I was born from the purest union of a demon goddess and an angel; and am the only one of my kind.  Demons are not made, turned or possessed. Maybe I shared too much with her but now she knows that demons cannot be made vampires as we are not living human flesh that dies and then is reborn into a new being; our blood is too powerful to be changed into anything but demon blood.  Just like angels, we can possess but we cannot make another of our kind from anything human without it being birthed. Our males can impregnate humans but no human can impregnate us. It is one of those double standards which also affect our kinds; but it’s the Fates maintaining the balance, lest an overflow of half angels or demons inhabit the human realms.  I was surprised that she took to this kindly as I explained that what humans think they know about us is nothing compared to the reality of our beings.

She slowly nodded as I explained that, Satan, Lucifer, Memnoch or whatever she calls him is not our leader though he is the God of Hell and to him, I do give respect just as I on occasion do to the other Gods of the Pantheon or the Heavens.

*recalls the conversation*

Maharet, I am what humans consider one of the 4 horsemen; it is such a funny word isn’t it?  *smiling* Wonder what humans would think if they knew it just means that we are the protectors of Hell’s Throne?  Sucky job but it helps to keep the peace within the realms and it guarantees my line will always have some dominion and a presence there.

“I see,” she said as I smiled before continuing.

You can say I got the short end of the stick but in reality I chose it.  Chose not to claim my right as the child of a goddess or of an angel, opting instead to still be the key to the Pantheon and a keeper of Him who would dare threaten the Heavens if he so desired a takeover; all of it to keep my family intact from choosing sides while fulfilling the Fates’ prediction.

Aosoth, my name says it all as does my mother’s and father’s and even that of my brother. I am the alpha and omega of my kind though SHE is stronger than me. Strong enough to birth a god the likes of my brother, strong enough to hold the Thrones with my father and, strong enough to birth me.

“And the others we hear so much about?” she asked, “those others, what of them?”

I smiled as I gave my answer though the taste of vile did pass my lips as I spoke.

There are those who claim to have been turned demon or dare threaten one above them, at times I wonder if they would dare threaten me?  Which would be a very big mistake, yet, few of them know anything about us as what they are would never be more than the lesser of our lowest kind. The true fight is between the thrones and the choirs and whether demons or angels we all fight for the same cause… maintaining a balance in the realms, maintaining the gates closed or open in the Pantheon, maintaining the triad of the nine angles intact.

And still, *my eyes settled on the locket she wore before fixating on the stars above us* with all my powers and those I am yet to receive through my ascensions, nothing I do nor any special potion or incantation will ever give me a child by Lestat or any other being that is not demon, it’s why Julian holds such a special place in my heart.

“Yes, he truly is a special child,” she said as I sat to watch her move between the roses, their soft whispers echoing through the night as she praised them for their beauty until we parted for the night.

Now I sit here at this desk, eyes fixated on the picture of Julian and my thoughts all go to him, the little demi-god, the perfect mix of demons; grandson of the God of Storms & King of Fire and, the heir to an Elemental line…, he’s perfect, powerful, beautiful and a demon. And for him, I shared my secrets with Maharet; I may not always listen to the Fates but even I can’t deny they bought me to Lestat for a reason…, to witness the birth of the little Prince of Storms and Fire.

What comes after today only the Fates know but my Legions will be ready should they be called to action in protection of my brethren, the little demon Lestat and I call grandson, Julian Daniel Aberdeen-Thomas.

Aosoth May-de Lioncourt

Il est notre plus grand honneur de vous annoncer le mariage de notre enfants, Satin Rain et Driscoll Aberdeen.  

I flamed in as I heard the prayers coming from all places, our bedroom. My head tilted as I watched him lost in thought of one so small he could probably fit in the palm of his gigantic hands, *smiles and looks at own hand* the same giant hands that hold mine when we sleep, the hands that caress me when he loves me.

I hid from him, I heard his thoughts, looked into his heart and saw before me the prayers of the man I call my mate. Funny, how different and similar they were to those who’ve called out my name without even knowing it; those who have uttered a prayer when they thought all their hopes were lost. But he didn’t call out to me; he looked skyward and placed himself open to me as this little glob of connected tissues moved in a very lively recording.

He prayed *smiles* a bringer of death, the mate of death herself prayed for the life of another… death praying for life ... such is the irony of life…

And after a moment I knew exactly what I needed to do. *grins* I took him to his suite at the Notre Dame Hotel, kept him awake during the day and accompanied him to early mass at Notre Dame Cathedral.

I still don’t know if he was more surprised that I wanted to join him or that I actually behaved while we were there, maybe on the trip back to the Coven’s estate I’ll ask him if he was surprised I understood.

I still don’t know if he was more surprised that I wanted to join him or that I actually behaved while we were there, maybe on the trip back to the Coven’s estate I’ll ask him if he was surprised I understood.

But all in all, I think that I did good. *fangy grin*

~Aosoth M.-de L

Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d do anything in your power to calm their fears, to make them happy, to just simply love them?

That is how I love that damn vampire. Whatever it is he has done to me all I know is that when it is all said and done, I have loved him like no other. Loved him enough to learn to love those that mean the most to him and through him I have learned to see life around me from a different perspective.  I have learned to love his vampire children through his eyes not my own.

My eyes… my eyes would only see the destruction to life they bring to others who otherwise would fall victim to me. Others with souls so dark no doubt I would claim them as my own. But through him I have seen the friendships, admiration and love they have for each other. I have lived their memories as if they where my own. I have sired each of them through his eyes and fangs. I have felt them feed from me at the memories of their first feed from him.  My blood may not flow through them but his blood flows through me and in it I have lived all his years, thoughts, fears and loves; and he loves them.

Each holds a special place within him but none is like Nicolas. The guilt and love he feels for him torments me as it does him. I have feared for Nicolas as if he was my child not Lestat’s. Our child, our children *chuckles* well it is as close as we will ever be to having one from our own blood. And he loves them so much… as much as I love him… love that has lead me to offer my love a binding contract without his knowledge or consent. A contract with Aosoth but instead of it being his soul for payment it may be mine; still Nicolas has been returned to his rightful age in strength. He will no longer be a “young one” as Armand so loves to call him, from the moment Eitan’s flamed hand sealed our deal Nicolas became that which he should have always been… his maker’s second child, the second born of our vampire children.

My child Nicolas dé Lenfent, my second born….

Aosoth May-de Lioncourt